This time last week, I was getting ready to watch Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. I've never read the book or even shown an interest in it, yet, I knew the name Newt Scamander. The Potter fan in me believes that someone used a spell to plant it into my subconscious (I can dream okay). 

Be a veterinarian for dragons, they said. It'll be fun, they said... Well they lied! 5 days annual leave, bonkers hours and singed clothes. 

They rope you in with the mouth watering starting salary of 40k and tie a knot around your neck with the 'no previous experience needed' carrot. Well at least that's how they got me. I'm 18 years old fresh out of school and couldn't get work anywhere. I was told that I needed 6 months experience for sweeping floors. 6 months, can you believe that? When I saw the advert for this I couldn't wait to sign up. 

I thought I'd have to handle split nails, chipped teeth and a few sprained wings. 6 months into this job and I've had to syringe 8 dragon ears, lance 12 ingrowing hairs, and drain a growth that I still can't explain. Have you ever see the inside of a dragon's ear? Let me paint the picture for you. Imagine the ear of the dirtiest person that you know. Now imagine that person has gone for a 20 mile run, and during that jog he decided to roll through manure. Can you imagine the inside of his ear after all that? Well now imagine this same person wanted to clean his ears but he used, puss ridden ear buds dipped in horse mucus. Do you have a picture in your head? Well that's not even close. 

Now, I've said all this stuff about the dragons but they aren't even the worst part of this job. They are innocent bystanders. It's their show off, look at me, owners. They swan into the surgery, with their noses in air, screaming snob. I know they are special, because 'dragons only choose special owners' but that doesn't mean they have to look down on us. I do them a great service, without me something small like acid reflux could turn into a forest fire. I think I'm special, my mum always told me I'm special.

Anyway I better get back to work, I have to pop a fungal boil this afternoon. Stay away from this profession if you can. Do something easier and more fun like... teaching.

Hey followers :P

I've blogged before about the use of music when I'm writing. I'm a instrumental kind of guy, but this week that has changed.

I loved Macklemore's first album, and I only found out about his latest effort a few days ago. It's a great album with more thought provoking lyrics. He talks about topics which a lot of hip hop and rap artist aren't addressing.

My favourite track on the album is 'Kevin'. It talks about Macklemore's deceased brother, whom he lost to drugs. The song is an overt attack on the drug industry in America. The high points of the record are the choruses. Leon Bridges sings them and just sores through every note. His voice is beautiful and upon hearing him I needed more. Thank you Spotify, because I was able to flood my ear waves with all things Bridges. His music is 50s and 60s soul, think a little bit Doo-Wop and a little Sam Cooke soul.

I've been skipping and dancing around ever since I came across his work. It has slowed the productivity of my writing. I keep swaying and imaging I'm at some America High School Dance in 1959 with no problems.  His latest album is 'Coming Home' give it a listen it's magnificent music.

Until next time guys x

"Suddenly, the hanged man starts to speak... I go toward him and his face begins to peel. His words, which are mumbled, turn to horrifying shrieks. Then my skin starts to boil and peel and I wake up."
"And it's the same dream every time?" The doctor asked.
"Sometimes, before the screams, his words are clear. I can make out 'leave, hungry, die' At least that what they sound like."
The doctor scribbled away on his clipboard. He took off his glasses and scratched the bald patch on his head. 
"Anything else about the phantom?"
"Phantom?"
"Man... I mean man." The doctor smiled in an attempt to mask his mistake. 
The man sat up from the chaise longue. "No! You said phantom."
"Common mistake" He lied.
"What do you know?" The man pressed.
The doctor felt uncomfortable with the mans stare, it was piercing and invading. He tapped his chest and a siren sounded.
"What have you done?" The man asked springing to his feet. 
The light in the room flashed red and armed guards stormed in through the door.
The man was quick to react. He grabbed the doctor and pulled him towards him. He wrapped his arms around his neck.
"Tell me what is going on!" The man screamed and tightened his grip on the doctor to show his seriousness. 
"You're making a mistake." The doctor choked his way through the sentence.
"Shut up!" He tightened his grip. The guards stood with their guns pinpointed at his head.
"Mistake, leave, go." A voice boomed above the alarm. Everyone searched looking for its source. 
"Mistake, leave, now." The voice repeated itself and again the source was unknown. Then, in through the door glided a figure. It's body was translucent, in places, and emitted a blue glow. Everyone turned towards it. Around its neck was a noose.
"That's him..." The man whimpered, loosening his grip on the doctor.
The figure tugged on the noose, choking itself over and over. Its mouth opened and its tongue slapped against its teeth "Hungry. Hungry."

It's a short one this Wednesday. I just wanted to share something from Chuck Palahniuk's 'Fight Club'. I keep coming across powerful quotes and this week is no different. With all the nonsense taking place in America at the minute I can see why this quote grabbed me. Palahnuik gets criticised for churning out works of nihilism. Whether it's true or not I think he hits the nail on it's head with his social commentaries. 

Enjoy x

"I left him in a pool of blood and claimed some vagrant had done it."

"You what?"

"Blamed it on an innocent beggar sleeping on the side."

"Who knows?" 

"Just you." 

She didn't appreciate having this knowledge, "What's next?"

"Same as always. Nothing has changed."

"You killed the leader of the resistance and think nothing has changed."

"Nothing has changed for me. I don't care about this war anyway. My life is the same."

She stared in disbelief. "There he is. There is the famous Johnny 'selfish' Gunns."

He polished off the whiskey in front of him. "Hey, I didn't ask for this!" 

"Whatever Johnny." She turned to leave the bar. A dart whizzed through the air, targeted for her neck. Johnny leapt in front of her and caught it with his fingers. The marksman must have been a rookie for thinking that would slip past Johnny's watch.

He hauled her to the floor. He showed her the dart. "Someone knows."

"Who?" Her head jittered with fear

As he shrugged the dart began to flash. Johnny's heart sank. He tossed it in the air and braced them for an explosion.

Nothing. 

The dart landed back on the floor a metre away from them. A message had come out of the tip in the form of a tiny flag. 

Can Johnny come out to play?

This week I've been able to write daily. Finding the time hasn't been as difficult as I thought. So many of my favourite authors, speak about the importance of writing on a daily basis. I'm beginning to understand what they mean. 

"I am not human. I never was. So why are you expecting me to act like one?"

"Because you must!" He pleaded

"Why?"

"Because they won't understand what you are. They will see you as a threat."

"So what? I must continue to be less?"

"You must continue to survive... You are the last hope. It will be over if they find you"

"I'm ready now!" She wasn't giving up.

His eyes met hers. They calmed her like no words could.

"One day, you will be great for these people."

They shared a moment of hope together. A bash on the door culled the silence.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Inspection squad!"

"At this time? Why?"

"Are you refusing to answer an inspection call?" The voice queried.

With no other choice he opened the door. In rushed 10 men dressed in grey.

"On your knees." The leader shouted. "You filthy swine."

He dropped to his knees.

"To your knees Zalin." He pleaded with her.

She stared at the guards. "Listen to your father, girl." The lead guard smirked.

 "He isn't my father. You killed my father. All of you did." Her pain resonated through her words.

"Zalin, you will have your time." He tugged at her clothes to get her to her knees.

"Important day was it? When we killed your father. Remember it well do you? Was just another Tuesday to us." The lead guards smirk had twisted into a full on grin.

Zalin boiled and let out a deafening scream. All the windows in the shack smashed and the light flickered.

"You will all die tonight!" Her shrieks shoved fear into the guards.

"Looks like we've found another mage boys." The lead guards composure hadn't deserted him.

"No, there aren't any like me!" She squinted her eyes and the guards slammed into the ceiling. Their bones crunched and organs splattered.

Zalin left the head guard untouched to watch his men die. Fear found him.

"Who will remember the day you died?" She goaded him. Her eyes were red and lusting for more blood.

Hey guys,

I recently came across the Hemingway app. I know what you're thinking, how late am I? 

I heard about it a while back, but never bothered to give it a go. Whilst editing my book, I stumbled across other writers who use and recommend it.

I was intrigued because it spots that wretched passive voice, and focuses on keeping your sentences direct. (I just used passive voice to explain an app that spots passive voice - inception).

At the start, I loved how simple it was to use. It did find a few bits of passive voice and it helped me restructure some sentences that I wasn't happy with. 

After 30 minutes, I did notice the limitations of the app. It craves short sharp sentences and will highlight yellow the second your sentence uses a conjunction (like this one). 

Some scenes need longer sentences and some scenes need shorter sentences. The app doesn't allow for that and will flag up every time you include and etc...

Once you notice this you can work with the app and ignore what you want. 

I think it's a good app and I will be using it for scenes or character descriptions I'm not happy with. Just need to be aware of it's limitations.

Enjoy,

Matt